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Why My Mother Got Called Into School For Fear I Would Kill Myself

by Alexis

I relish the divinity of sadness,
The painful sorrows I crave,
The eternal struggle we face alone,
a random, unworthy slave.

The infinite tears and depression,
alone and desperate we cry.
As I stare cold and blankly
Into the darkening sky.

I revel in its power,
Its perils I long to possess.
The unhappy cries and unfading aches
I mercilessly caress.

It chills my spine to think of it,
And burns my heart in its fire,
Tempted and fearless of consequence
I succumb to my desire.

It precedes me and it struggles,
Searching for its prey,
And never noticing its shadow
I am cloaked in a cloud of dismay.

I feel its hand upon me -
it wavers at my door.
It seeps into the darkness,
clogging every pore.

My life is at its mercy,
But terror it does not bring.
To me it is salvation;
A lullaby it sings.


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