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Cosmo's Conundrum Peoms

50 Ways to Lose at Cosmo

Inspired by Music, written by Weird Hal Yankovic and with apologies to Paul Simon.


There is a game I play somewhere out there in space
Where the roomies click and miss and so plummet from their place
If you follow these rules of thumb you'll save yourself some face
For there must be
Fifty ways to lose at Cosmo

Listen close to all RR and Red Dodge say
Ignore Scarlett's pearls of wisdom and you'll be slip sliding away
And of course you're in big trouble when Bob Marley comes to play
There must be
Fifty ways to lose at Cosmo
Fifty ways to lose at Cosmo

Just wag off the board, Gord
Sit on the fence, Spence
Don't listen to Chill, Bill
Get ready to fall

Simply misclick, Dick
It's always Brazil, Jill!
Don't listen to Whis, Chris
And watch yourself fall

On a brb for qpb you'd better hurry back
Or you'll end up wagging blindly and start off on the wrong track
And, horror of horrors, you might click on 'ducks (quack quack)'
It's one of the fifty ways

There are people you can wag with to put you in good stead
But it's so easy to mishit, misclick or be totally misled
And of course, friend - if you wag with Jose you'll probably be dead
There must be
Fifty ways to lose at Cosmo
Fifty ways to lose at Cosmo

Go run with the pack, Jack
Get back too late, Kate
Uhoh geo, Leo
Get ready to fall

Wag just cause you can, Dan
Misread the Q, Lou
Don't go B on ten, Len
And watch yourself fall


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