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Commissioned Peoms

For Gordon Moulding

A happy birthday to you, Gordon, you're thirty at last!
Oops, I'll start over again. Thirty's way back in the past!
It's forty, right? When life truly begins and all that?
Or should I start pulling numbers at random out of the hat?

You can't be fifty, already? How long must it be
Since you tightened your first bolt on your first Model T?
Well you'll always be needed, so don't start to panic
Those Stannah stairlifts often need a manic mechanic!

Here's some helpful advice so that it doesn't seem too bad:
First, don't start any sentence with 'When I were a lad!'
And don't mention the war, and don't hoard your gold
And ignore what anyone says, because you're never too old!

Move to a bungalow so you don't have to cope with stairs
And remember you can get on the buses for half fare!
Savour your last Jim Beam as it slowly trickles down
For tonight it'll be Horlicks and a flannel night gown.

Don't forget at the OAP's B&B it's always early to bed
With a swim in the morning to banish old age spread!
And, finally, for reaching a half century not out,
It's Jack Daniels for everyone and it must be your shout!

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