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Commissioned Peoms

For Nick Cooper

Another commissioned poem and more free Guinness!

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Everywhere he goes, people take his photo
'Cause he makes Tom Cruise look like Quasimodo!
Redford, Newman, Gable - he puts them to shame
And in case you haven't twigged, Nick Cooper's his name.

Suave, sophisticated, exciting as sin,
He's almost an exact double of Errol Flynn -
But Nick's got more expensive clothes and a touch more flair,
A dash more panache and of course much longer hair.

Some dream of a rare book or an antique vase,
But Nick's obsession is Italian sports cars.
It could be Maserati, Porsche or Lamborghini,
But with a name like Cooper it should be a Mini!

Euro 96 ought to be a Nick Cooper dream,
But he can't lend his support to any one team.
There's no 90's Worthington in the whole motley crew
Which has given him the hump - or should that be two?

It's Friday night once more, Nick's had a lager or ten,
Drowning his sorrows 'cause Huddersfield lost again,
But tonight's an event and the reason for this rhyme
Is to say Happy Birthday from Christine, 'cause Nick's 39!

It's closing in fast now, just one year to go,
In no time at all you'll reach the big four-oh,
But a message to all fans - don't believe the hype
'Cause he won't be staying in with just his slippers and pipe.

Now chief sub-editors make a year, so we've reckoned
About as much as the Queen, or maybe a close second,
So delve into the millions that you have to your name
'Cause the drinks are on you, Nick, and mine's a bottle of champagne!


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