Home - Writing - Scribbles Mail Hal C F Astell - Site Map

NPB Peoms

Lines Written on Seeing Pat's Arm

For skiing there's Switzerland, for sex there's Spain,
There's always England if you're avoiding the rain.
You can jet off to Barbados to swim in the sea,
But the best place for a safari is NPB!

The back room's a jungle, you can't see for flies,
Swarms of mosquitoes blot out the skies,
But there's no lions or tigers, in fact any big cats -
So all the insects could find for dinner was Pat!

They swooped down on her like fighter planes,
Fighting amongst themselves for the blood in her veins.
It had been far too long since they'd tasted human meat,
So they started at the top and worked down to her feet.

Red, raw and bleeding, she just got out alive,
If there was an insect bite competition, she'd win the first prize.
Eaten alive because she had no palm leaf fan -
Luckily Nick's got a few thousand in the back of his van!

So be warned - next time you come to NPB
And the powers that be say there's no work left to key,
Don't complain that got you've got to sort N & P,
Just make sure the insect repellent is free.

Home - Writing - Scribbles Mail Hal C F Astell - Site Map