Home - Writing - Scribbles Mail Hal C F Astell - Site Map

NPB Peoms

This is Your Life: Christine Green

Commissioned for the price of a pint of Guinness and read before food at the Bowling Green Inn.


Before this birthday reunion gets under way
There are few words I'll take this opportunity to say,
Like "This is your life - Christine Green".
So sit back and see what a character you've been.

Christmas do's are the best time to catch the fun
When Christine's dressed up to the nines in clothes from Mark 1.
She never found out if the Provident do was a winner
'Cause she didn't even last long enough to get to the dinner.

The Tower House staff gave her money when she asked for the bread
'Cause she was stood there with her stockings over her head.
And last year at Gladstone's, when the drink was flowing free
It didn't take long to lose her entire memory.

Everyone else was clearing Denise's car of frost
But Christine's in the back seat, absolutely lost.
In fact, her mind had drifted so far away
She still can't remember how she got home to this day.

She defected to Grattan like Barbara and Joan
To get paid for talking for hours on the phone.
She's on a much better wage than the rest of us enjoy
But the labels on her bargains still read "Farmer's Boy".

She's got no financial worries, she pays bills without a hitch.
After all, even her kids admit that she's rich.
The only time her bank balance doesn't look quite so hot
Is when Nick's had another delivery of God knows what.

I'm sure you'll remember Christine's true passion.
Well, she's still talking as if it's going to go out of fashion.
Sitting her behind Joan was like manna from heaven
But they still go the toilet for a chat at half past seven.

Well, now that I've got you all in good cheer
I'll finish this off and get back to my beer,
So here's the message that'll give you a lift -
"Happy birthday for tomorrow, Christine" from all the evening shift!

Home - Writing - Scribbles Mail Hal C F Astell - Site Map